How to NOT judge and prevent toxic relationships?

Ha Nguyen
2 min readDec 20, 2020

I tried to find the answer to that question and came up with this so-called

A toxic relationship loop, starting from

We judge people (about the way they look, talk, act, think)

➡️ We think bad about them (disrespect)

➡️ We don’t like them

➡️ They don’t like us (back)

➡️ An ideal environment for conflict

➡️ Fight

➡️ We (again) judge them for their way of dealing with the conflict

And the circle goes on and on.

How to break this loop?

I understand that when others do something we think is wrong, especially when it affects us

It’s easy to get angry.

But I’ve learned another way to deal with this situation.

Instead of judging, we can be compassionate.

Instead of feeling angry, we can feel sorry for them.

They are just so blind to stop doing the wrong things.

So we can replace criticism with a wish

For those poor people to soon realize the problem and change.

We are all imperfect

How to be compassionate towards others’ misbehaviors, especially when it seems crazy or unacceptable?

Well, take a moment to remember all our mistakes or wrong decisions.

When we see our imperfection, others’ faults become easier to accept.



Ha Nguyen

A child advocate & entrepreneur in Helsinki who cares about education, fairness, the environment & sustainability. Stay in touch on IG: @a.second.of.happiness