Kindness could also be a double-edged sword.
A hidden threat of being (too) nice is falling into the so-called people-pleasing trap.
Here is how to differentiate:
. Kind person: do things that make no harm to others.
. People pleaser: do things that make others satisfied even if it causes yourself suffering or against what you truly want.
Some characteristics of a people-pleaser.
. Avoid conflict at all cost, even if it means suppressing one’s true feelings
. Intentionally build & maintain a good image of one’s self in others’ eyes
. Can’t say no or feeling bad/ guilty for saying no
. Take (unnecessary) responsibility for how other people feel
Dear all people-pleasers out there, it’s good to make others happy, just don’t hurt yourself in the attempt to do so!
I have been a people-pleaser myself.
But then I realize that this doesn’t serve me well.
I decide to live with more authenticity and integrity
And feel much more at peace.
If you experience the same thing, I hope you can try out some of what I did below, to spend more time on things & people that matter to you!
. Set boundaries
. Don’t say yes when you want to say no
. Speak up, commit to telling the truths, not what you know people like to hear