How to not feel sad?

I don’t know :)

But there’s something I know for sure

Sadness is a part of life.

Without sadness, there is no happiness.

Just like without darkness we can’t see the shining stars.

So another question I’d suggest asking is

How to deal with sadness or

How to transform it into something more pleasant.

There are certainly times when your sadness becomes unbearable.

Losing loved ones, failing an important exam or a dedicated project, missing out on a big opportunity.

The best thing we can do when this happens is to accept whatever happens.


I tried to find the answer to that question and came up with this so-called

A toxic relationship loop, starting from

We judge people (about the way they look, talk, act, think)

➡️ We think bad about them (disrespect)

➡️ We don’t like them

➡️ They don’t like us (back)

➡️ An ideal environment for conflict

➡️ Fight

➡️ We (again) judge them for their way of dealing with the conflict

And the circle goes on and on.

How to break this loop?

I understand that when others do something we think is wrong, especially when it affects us

It’s easy to get angry.


Under the Himalayas, between India and China, it’s peaceful Bhutan, where

1/ Tobacco is banned

2/ The government focus on measuring GNH — Gross National Happiness instead of GDP — Gross National Production

3/ Free health care and free education

4/ The only carbon-negative country in the world (it absorbs more CO2 than that being produced)

At first, it sounds quite overbearing, which reminds me of North Korea

And also a bit dictatorial…

But would dictatorship be a good thing if the one and only concern/ purpose is wellbeing for all?

Anyhow, it’s another big topic.

I also find this contradictory fact about Bhutan quite shocking

It’s the only country…

Why we know we should change, can change, but we don’t change

We all know what is good for us.

What is healthy & whatnot.

What we should do & what we should stop doing.

But we don’t change our behavior for the things we know are better.

Why? One answer is:


Our brain refuses things that are hard, complicated & time-consuming.

So unless we make the good/ healthy/ sustainable options simple & easy

People will never change their behavior.

How to make them care

People won’t care about climate change, deforestation, gender equality, or any other global issue, UNLESS

They understand how it would severely affect THEIR life directly if they don’t take action.


Life is wonderful or miserable

Depending a lot on what you decide to do & how you decide to feel each day

In fact, every morning when the alarm rings, we already have two decisions to make

. Hit snooze & go back to sleep, or

. Wake up and chase the dreams you’ve always thought about

As J.M. Power said, “If you want to make your dreams come true, the first thing you have to do is wake up.”

Make use of the Fresh-Start Effect

You have much more MOTIVATION to make a positive change or create a turning-point in your life

At the beginning…

Life feels much better with gratitude, let me explain :)

If you’re reading this right now, 99% you are

  • Still breathing fine (independently, not with an oxygen respirator)
  • Waking up every day on your comfy bed
  • Having electricity for your phones, water from your sink (hot or cold as you wish), so many clothes in closets that may take time for you to choose what to wear
  • Storing food in your fridge ready to serve your hunger whenever you feel like
  • Getting proper education and access to the most significant resource of knowledge in this entire world — the internet
  • Loved by people surrounding you, family, friends, teachers, colleagues…

Things don’t go as planned, people behave badly, negative incidents break out,…

Bad things happen, which ruins our day

And we feel sad, disappointed, hopeless, tired, etc.

That’s the sign when we rely too much on the outside world.

I’m lucky to learn from a wise person

To be comfortable with plans going wrong

Cherish the imperfection of life around me

And enjoy my awesome bad day!

Do wrong > do good = a bad day

A bad day is not a day when bad things happen to me

But a day when I do bad things that are against my value & desire.

A good day is not…

What is worse than losing money

We could go mad when losing (big) money.

We consider carefully before every purchasing decision.

We keep our money safe and only trade it for some benefits in return.

If we have that attitude and spend our time the same way we use our money,

I think it would make a huge difference in our personal & professional life.

Quality time

It’s not about how much (free) time you have

But how much quality time you have every day.

The quality level depends on how concentrated you are doing ONE thing at a time.

Quality sleep, quality talk, quality eating, quality playing…

Kindness could also be a double-edged sword.

A hidden threat of being (too) nice is falling into the so-called people-pleasing trap.

Here is how to differentiate:

. Kind person: do things that make no harm to others.

. People pleaser: do things that make others satisfied even if it causes yourself suffering or against what you truly want.

Some characteristics of a people-pleaser.

. Avoid conflict at all cost, even if it means suppressing one’s true feelings

. Intentionally build & maintain a good image of one’s self in others’ eyes

. Can’t say no or feeling bad/ guilty for…

Time for bed, it’s a long day, you look at your todo list and guess what

So many left to be done.

What would you feel?

Guilty, frustrated, unproductive, stressful, ashamed?

Here’s the fact: you will hardly get all your work done!

Not-yet-completed is not inefficiency; it’s progress.

Once you accept & be comfortable with this, it gives you peace of mind to enjoy life!

Rule of thumb for the daily todo list, KISS

Yes, Keep It Short & Sweet.

Have around six tasks in total in your daily todo list.

Three things matter personally and the rest professionally.


Ha Nguyen

A child advocate & entrepreneur in Helsinki who cares about education, fairness, the environment & sustainability. Stay in touch on IG: @a.second.of.happiness

Get the Medium app

A button that says 'Download on the App Store', and if clicked it will lead you to the iOS App store
A button that says 'Get it on, Google Play', and if clicked it will lead you to the Google Play store